Friday, October 9, 2009

today

Today I turned 28. It was a good day. Birthdays usually are. But today was a really good day. I felt loved by so many people and took time to smile at some small things.

Today I twirled and danced with Leah instead of being annoyed that she wanted some of my attention.

Today I cried in front of a friend realizing the reality of something in my life rather than bottling it up and trying to look put together.

Today I gave my husband a break and didn't mind at all that it means more work for me. I'm truly happy that he gets a few days to be rejuvenated.

Today I cleaned my bedroom.

Today I ate two desserts and didn't even care.

Today I thought about past birthdays: simple nights in with the Augers, my mom's ever-creative cakes (and non-cakes), parties with 16 nine year olds, shopping trips to the mall in the rain, dinner at TGIFridays with my mom - being so embarrassed that the waiter wanted to put a balloon in my hair, home on my 16th babysitting my sister while my friends when on UEA vacations and my mom was in Hawaii; my first birthday away from home; parties with roommates; leaves in the canyons.

Today I thought about past gifts: my first-ever razor (and being terrified to use it because Jenni told me I could gash my leg open); a sweet, sweet book about life...and death...from my aunt just a month after my dad passed away; an iPod from Ryan that has given me that extra bit of strength I didn't know was in me while running; a used Garfield book from my brother, Dan; adjustable roller skates to go cruising through the Auger's kitchen, a coupon for a free room cleaning from my sister; telling my mom we were expecting a baby on my birthday three years ago; cards from Leah; sweet messages from family and friends.

Today I thought about the past year and how I've grown as a person. I still have a lot to learn, but I feel I'm a little more honest with myself. I'm a little more open with others. I'm better at sharing my feelings.

I know it's okay to say 'no'.

I have a better idea of what really matters in life and what can wait until tomorrow. It's okay to cry. It's even better to laugh - especially at myself. I'll live if I don't wear makeup or do my hair - even if I'm going to see people during the day. It's fun to dance like a maniac even if people are watching. I'm more willing to try new, hard or unknown things. It's okay to fail sometimes - it will help you appreciate success. I have more strength than I usually give myself credit for. I'm not supposed to do things all on my own. It's good to be busy, but it's also okay to do nothing once in awhile. I've learned more as a mother than I ever thought there was to know...and I know it won't stop.

I have great friends. I have an excellent family. I have an incredible husband. I have an amazing little girl. I'm not such a bad person myself, but I'm my best self when I'm not worrying so much about me, but thinking about others.

I've learned that Heavenly Father does hear our prayers. Even though there have been multiple times this year when I've felt forgotten, he'll send me simple reminders to show me I'm definitely not.

I think 28 is going to be a good one. I can just feel it.

17 comments:

Cheryl and William said...

You ARE so amazing Maren and I truly feel so privileged to know you! And I am impressed by all that you are able to do- I know it will be a good year for you too!

Ryan Burt said...

Happy Stinkin' Birthday!!

t.t.turner said...

What a fun post! It's funny to look back on birthdays over the years - that's one tragic 16th, though! :)

ed and kelli said...

sorry about your 16th...do you forgive me??:) i love you and hope your 28th was fantastic!

Uffens Family said...

I am crying...I know that is not what you meant by posting :) and it is a "happy" post, but what a beautiful way of words and what important lessons that I am still learning daily. I love you my amazing cousin!!

Claire said...

Happy Birthday Maren! I forgot that we share half/real birthdays. (April 8 for me) I am so glad that I can read your blog. You have always been an amazing person. You are an inspiration. I hope you had a fantastic day!

Morgan said...

i loved this post maren. happy belated birthday. i did think about you yesterday even though i didn't leave a comment. mare, you are awesome and are an amazing mom. glad you had a great day!

megan said...

Mar! I hope you had a fabulous birthday. You are a great mom and friend!

Mollie Sekikawa said...

Gosh, Maren, you just made me have a little tear and sniffle. I don't do that very often. Happy Birthday!

Alysha said...

I forgot to leave a birthday wish! I hope you had a fabulous day and it sounds like you did. I loved your reflection of the years past and I hope year 28 won't disappoint!

Jenny said...

See now, this is why I love you...and why I'm so happy to be close by, even if it's for a short time. Maybe some Maren will rub off on me.

Jen said...

Happy Birthday Maren! Loved your post. I'm sure 28 will be AMAZING! I've learned to embrace the hard stuff because we learn so much more in those times, than in the easy. :-)

maryirene said...

what beautiful honest words. thank you so much. happy birthday, a little late.

Karen Hauley said...

28 will be great because I know you will make it great. Thank you for letting Ryan go on your birthday - it was a blessing for me to talk to him face-to-face yesterday. the two of you are a perfect complement and Leah adds soooooo much flavor. Needless to say, I felt the hand of God in my life after talking to him. I feel more peacefule about Leah - even though I know this could be a difficult road for you. I love you.

Rob and Marseille said...

Happy birthday Maren! (I couldn't comment that on your other birthday post because there were 28 birthday wishes and I thought that was a good number. So here I comment:)

Benson and Jaimi said...

Happy belated birthday Maren! I love to read your blog!

Katie said...

Happy late birthday Maren!