Sunday, May 2, 2010

number seven

i recently heard somewhere that the divorce rate for couples who have kids with special needs is 80%.

eighty percent.

that seems ridiculously high to me for the parents of kids who need that little bit of extra assistance that i can't help but believe two parents could give to a child better than one. i cannot imagine parenting leah while flying solo.

and yet, emerging from the ashes of the past year, i can completely understand why the statistics are so high.

we got little to no sleep a lot. a lot, a lot. and not just the infant crying and wanting to be fed kind of no sleep. we've done that, and that was a breeze compared to this kind of sleeplessness. we've been overstressed and undereducated and mostly felt helpless. and i'm pretty sure we just took it out on each other.

i know this seems a silly way to write a post about a blissful seventh year anniversary, but hear me out.

i know we're going to be in that 20% of couples who do make it. and i can take no credit for myself. it's all because of ryan.

he is always the one to apologize first.

he is always the one to forgive and forget.

he is always the one to work a little longer, a little harder, a little better.

he is the one at the end of the day {after he walks in the door from 12 hours at his corporate job} telling his sobbing wife that everything will be okay. and then he proceeds to do his husband job and daddy job and clean apartment complexes and do the dishes and pick up after me.

he is the one to take leah off my hands after an insane week {the kind where i'm ready to gouge my eyes out with a spoon} and run her ragged at the park. and of course they both come back grinning from ear to ear.

he is the one who rides his bike to work so i can have the car.

he is the one who listens rather than speaks.

he is the one who helps rather than hinders.

he is the one who catches me when i fall.

he is the one who pushes me when i need an extra shove.

he is the one who does all this without a spec of recognition. no one ever asks, "how's ryan doing?", and he keeps plugging right along regardless. and the only thing he has to show for it is a receding hairline {okay, and maybe a gray hair or two}.

and he is mine. forever.

happy number seven.

i love you.


Karen Hauley said...

I love you two.

Uffens Family said...

I love you both! What an incredible couple you make! Happy 7!

Erica said...

as usual, chills and tears! happy anniversary!

Molly said...

Husbands are amazing. Mine definitely deserves the praise in our house. I'm glad you have Ryan. One of these days I'll bring him cookies. :)

Jen said...

I have loved reading your blog. I haven't been able to jump on too regularly lately, but I get caught up in no time. :-) You are gifted. I'm sure you and Ryan will hang onto and lean on each other. Life is actually really short. I always like to remember that before we were blessed with the all-consuming job of parenting it was Jon and I. Because we love each other, our kids exist. I try to keep that priority in my mind. You guys will do great.

ed and kelli said...

yay for 7! i loved going to your wedding even if ryan stole you before we could be roommates.. i forgive him cause he let me come over unannounced multiple times and drove me whenever i needed to get somewhere regardless of how annoyed he was by it. he is a great guy. so glad you went with him and not brandon:) love you guys.. and that stat is ridiculous... so sad. glad ya'll will be apart of the 20%

John, Mica, and Little J said...

Congrats on #7! You two are a way cute couple, and it's too bad we don't live closer, I'd love to get to know you, especially after reading your amazing blog from time to time! I'm sure you are a great mom and wife it shows in how you write and live!