Friday, April 30, 2010

see mj write: day 30 {whatever tickles your fancy}

{a letter to my high-school self.}

dear maren,

it's me! i mean, you! well, the future you. 10 years from now.

i want to send some advice your way. just some things to keep in mind so when you become me, you don't up and freak out.

a lot is going to happen in the next 10 years. some of it's planned. some not. some of it's good. some not. some of it is exactly like you dreamed. again, some just isn't. but it's all going to turn out okay.

first, you get to go to college. um, you already know that. you got your acceptance letter last month. but you're really going to like it. you will decide on a major {but not the one you're thinking about right now}. you'll find great friends and learn wonderful things. just remember to enjoy it. don't spend all your time studying. go out and have some fun!

second, you will get married. i know, total spoiler alert. and he's cute. i really think you're gonna like him. he's smart and witty and he loves you to pieces. he's a lot nicer than you, so you really luck out. you're a lot alike, but you're also very different. sometimes so different that he'll drive you nuts. but mostly you're just gonna love him. he's really great.

third, you will have kids. well, at least one. scary, right? you have no idea. but maren, it is more than worth it. at times, you might wonder what you've gotten yourself into, but that little girl {oh, right, she's a girl} will make you melt. i know you have lots of dreams for your future children. but i just need to warn you that you might need to let some of those dreams go. and it's okay. this little girl is incredible, but she's going to be a little different. people are going to stare at her. kids aren't always going to want to play with her. but man, is she amazing.

you're going to get a lot of praise and recognition for being her mom. at times it'll be nice because the day-to-day is hard. it's really hard. but really, you'll just feel undeserving. after all, you didn't choose this route. it was handed to you. and you're just going to have to do your best to take it with a smile on your face. your sweet little one is going to endure a lot of suffering in her life, but she is incredibly strong. plus, she's super cute and has great hair. you have a lot to learn from her.

you're probably going to be afraid to have more children. i have no advice on this subject.

you have great friends. really, truly great. everywhere you go, you're going to find wonderful people to share your smiles and sorrows with. you won't be able to adequately thank them. it just won't be possible. but try to let them know you care. they're there to help. they're there to listen. and they'll do a great job. remember to do the same for them. their struggles will be different than yours, but they will struggle in their own way and you can learn a lot from them.

you will be friends with your siblings and step-siblings. really! it's gonna happen. you probably won't live anywhere near them and you'll often wonder what you were thinking. but do what is right for you and your family. it'll be worth it in the end. your path isn't their path.

remember to keep learning. your education doesn't end with your college degree. the more you learn in all aspects of your life, the better you'll be able to cope and live and become a better you {i mean me}.

remember the basics. life might get chaotic, but those basics will be life savers. pray every day. read your scriptures. go to church. speaking of church, you will have callings other than piano. it'll take a few years, but it will happen.

try not to do anything you'll need to apologize for. it's just not worth it. curbing the sarcasm might be a good first step.

take some time for yourself. you're gonna need it. take care of your body. take care of your mind. just take care of you. i will thank you later.

and tell your husband you love him. he doesn't get the credit you get, but he's every bit, if not more deserving. so just tell him you love him.

it's a good life. i promise. it's different than you imagined, but it's good. just keep up the good work and i'll see you in a few years.




Erica said...

tears and chills.
how do you do it?

Julia Wade said...

i'm totally teary at work with a big lump in my throat.

love you mare.

Molly said...

Absolutely wonderful. You know what stuck me, though? "you're probably going to be afraid to have more children. i have no advice on this subject." I'm sure the you 10 years from now will have some great advice on that subject. I'm sure of it. Just imagine what she would tell you. Maybe that will calm your fears a little bit.

Jeni said...

I love reading your blog Maren. So honest, so creative. I need to be careful where I open it though cause I typically end up needing a tissue. ;) You are amazing.

Dyan said...

thanks for sharing the letter. I cried when I read it, I am not exactly sure why, but I did. I am afraid to have to more children too, but I think things will work out the way they are supposed to.

laska said...

I have really enjoyed reading your blog this month mare. You have an amazing talent for writing. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Shayla Taylor said...

Ditto to everything said. Thanks for being so awesome! :)

carolee said...

Maren, could you please continue your writing project every day for forever? I have LOVED reading it. You are an incredibly talented writer.

rachel said...

thanks for sharing this Maren!