traffic school shmaffic school

just finished six hours of online traffic school. for a speeding ticket i didn't deserve. and no, i'm not just saying that. i really wasn't speeding. but it's a sunk cost. my word against the cop's. and he "checked the radar box, so there's nothing {he} can do ma'am." nice. 

the funny thing to me is that i just spent those six hours pouring over 772 slides {yes, i counted}, 21 modules, 3 ridiculously cheesy videos {"tuning out tunes YOU into trouble!"} and 7 tests {of which i only missed 2 questions, both regarding the legal drinking limit in various situations...something i truly know nothing about}. so why, when i got a speeding ticket, did i have to learn about all aspects of driving all over again. maybe 3 of the slides were on speeding. hmmm...

i did learn a few things though. some real gems. here's a sampling:

• golf clubs were mentioned in the road rage slides. seriously. 
• "gawking" {slowing down to look at an accident/officer/etc. on the side of the road} is, actually, illegal - not just stupid. 
• if you drive a pre-1968 car or pre-1972 light truck you are exempt from california seat belt requirements
• you should never back up on the freeway." they really mentioned this. 
• "if an animal is in the road in front of you, try to avoid hitting it. (for example, you could drive around the animal or stop your car.)"
• "you should do everything possible to avoid a collision with a large animal."  "when driving on a two lane road, keep to the right side of the road." 
• "while driving, hold the steering wheel firmly." 
• "unless maneuvering, your vehicle should be completely in your lane." 
• "whenever you change lanes, check behind to make sure you are not getting in the way of cars in that lane." 
• "you should not view driving as a competitive activity"

and, other than legal drinking limits and the point system leading to negligent driving, i learned three things that i did not know before:

• when on a winding road with a hill that is two narrow for two cars to safely pass one another on the actual road, the car going UPhill always has the right of way.
• you can't park within 7.5 feet of a railroad track. (you can park 8 feet away, though). 
• you can go to jail for 6 months for tailgaiting.

there you have it folks. it is now safe again for me to be driving on the streets of california.