Tuesday, May 10, 2011

traffic school shmaffic school

just finished six hours of online traffic school. for a speeding ticket i didn't deserve. and no, i'm not just saying that. i really wasn't speeding. but it's a sunk cost. my word against the cop's. and he "checked the radar box, so there's nothing {he} can do ma'am." nice. 

the funny thing to me is that i just spent those six hours pouring over 772 slides {yes, i counted}, 21 modules, 3 ridiculously cheesy videos {"tuning out tunes YOU into trouble!"} and 7 tests {of which i only missed 2 questions, both regarding the legal drinking limit in various situations...something i truly know nothing about}. so why, when i got a speeding ticket, did i have to learn about all aspects of driving all over again. maybe 3 of the slides were on speeding. hmmm...

i did learn a few things though. some real gems. here's a sampling:
  • golf clubs were mentioned in the road rage slides. seriously. 
  • "gawking" {slowing down to look at an accident/officer/etc. on the side of the road} is, actually, illegal - not just stupid. 
  • if you drive a pre-1968 car or pre-1972 light truck you are exempt from california seat belt requirements
  • you should never back up on the freeway." they really mentioned this. 
  • "if an animal is in the road in front of you, try to avoid hitting it. (for example, you could drive around the animal or stop your car.)"
  • "you should do everything possible to avoid a collision with a large animal."  "when driving on a two lane road, keep to the right side of the road." 
  • "while driving, hold the steering wheel firmly." 
  • "unless maneuvering, your vehicle should be completely in your lane." 
  • "whenever you change lanes, check behind to make sure you are not getting in the way of cars in that lane." 
  • "you should not view driving as a competitive activity"
and, other than legal drinking limits and the point system leading to negligent driving, i learned three things that i did not know before:
  • when on a winding road with a hill that is two narrow for two cars to safely pass one another on the actual road, the car going UPhill always has the right of way.
  • you can't park within 7.5 feet of a railroad track. (you can park 8 feet away, though). 
  • you can go to jail for 6 months for tailgaiting.
there you have it folks. it is now safe again for me to be driving on the streets of california.


Michelle said...

I'm laughing so hard Maren! You crack me up. Those are some very good points! haha! Thanks for all the tips! hahaha. I'm dying.

ed and kelli said...

this is freaking hilarious.

Erica said...

wow wow wow wow wow! im glad when I got my speeding ticket i opted to just pay the extra fine! (i WAS speeding though)

Molly said...

Look at that! You learned an average of 1 new thing every 2 hours! Now that is an efficient use of your time. ;)