Kindergarten.

Kindergarten. 

It's kind of strange, I have to admit. 

Leah's been in school for the last three and a half years. We're no strangers to school. But kindgergarten is legit. No more writing "pre" in front of anything. Leah has arrived, my friends. 

I have mixed feelings about it, as one can expect of any parent whose oldest child is heading off to school, especially a parent who is as emotionally unstable as me. Kindergarten is something I anticipated since before Leah was even born. Something I dreamed about when I first held her tiny body in my arms. The way kindergarten has unfolded is drastically different than those anticipations and dreams. I never envisioned therapies or one-on-one aides. Communication devices were most definitely not in my dreams. And yet, here we are. Although it's not as first planned, I'm glad it's happening. And I'm glad she's in a school, mainstreamed, with teachers who sincerely believe in her, hope the best for her and are willing to work right by her side to achieve that best.

Although my feelings were all over the place this morning, I did keep my cool. I even got a "Hey! Way to hold it together!" from Ryan. {He must not have seen me tear up after I kissed her goodbye.} So I consider my behavior as we dropped her off and walked away a success. He obviously didn't have high expectations of me {rightly so}, but I blew whatever expectations he did have right out of the water.

Maybe it's because she's had a first day of school four times now. Maybe it's because I know she loves being there. Maybe it's because I might be a little excited about having some respite. Maybe it's because I truly believe in her and know she has so much untapped potential. I think it's a little bit of all of the above.

No matter how you look at it, we have a kindergartener on our hands. Watch. Out. World.