1990 - death by aerosol spray

there isn't much in the world that is more frightening to a nine year old girl than knowing you are going to die soon, just not exactly sure when. 

and i was certain i was going to drop dead within the week. my friends, with fear in their eyes, assured me of it. 

it started out as a typical weekday afternoon. school was normal. meals were normal. homework was normal. i was now playing with my two neighbor friends, krista and jamie. we had just left jamie's house {my back door neighbor - the one with the roller skates} and were headed next door to go play in krista's room. as it was her house, krista led the way, opening the front door and darting up a half flight of stairs to her family room. she made a sharp left, jumped up on a chair that was perched against the wall and and sprayed some wall mounted aerosol perfume onto her neck. 

she hopped off and jamie followed - up the stairs, around the corner, onto the chair - and doused herself with a long spurt of perfume. 

naturally, i followed suit. only as i sprayed the {strange smelling} perfume onto my neck, i turned around to see krista and jamie staring at me, stunned. 

"maren, what are you doing?," krista asked. 

"just spraying myself with perfume like both of you," i replied. i was growing concerned due to the looks on their faces. 

"that's not perfume," jamie half whispered. "it's air freshener. and we didn't spray it on ourselves, we sprayed it into the room."

"you're going to die," krista said gravely, yet matter-of-factly. 

i stepped off the chair and we all walked around the corner, down the hallway and into krista's room to play. 

i don't remember what we played that day. i don't remember anything i did that week. except, of course, that i waited to die. 

i waited. 

and i waited. 

and i waited. 

i knew it would happen soon. i just didn't know exactly when. and i was scared. finally, i became so consumed with the fear of my own death that i shared my experience with my mom. 

"oh sweetheart," she said as she hugged me close. "you're not going to die. you'll be just fine." she went on to explain that yes, air fresheners can be toxic {and that's most likely why krista and jamie were so concerned} but a little spray on my skin wasn't going to be fatal. 

i didn't know if i should be relieved that i had a second lease on life or really upset that i would never get that week of my childhood back. 

i chose to be relieved. 

and my mom was right. i didn't die. 

{no pictures of this. i was in no mood to be photographed.}

also in 1990:

 {the only picture of me at a piano recital, summer 1990}

 {july 4th at raging waters with my kinnersley cousins. we all got wicked sunburns - one of the only ones in my life - and the next day we all had to go to our great uncles' funeral. we could barely open our eyes we were all so burnt to a crisp.}

 {performing in ballet west's production of orpheus}

 {orpheus, backstage}

 {lake merwin with the augers - tyson, kelli, erin {hiding behind me}, maren, jared, jamie, dan, jenni, scott. and yes, my shirt had shoulder pads in it.}

 {my first perm - before. ryan says i still pull this face. he has no proof.}

 {and after. isn't it amazing!?}

{christmas performance with the christensen centre ballet - i was a gingerbread if you are wondering}