Tuesday, May 21, 2013

hyperventilating

There's been some hyperventilating going on over here. And this time it's me, not Leah. It's not one thing in particular, just kind of everything all at once. 

There are happy end-of-year things going on, like Tuck Follies and the elementary school choral concert I had the opportunity to accompany. There are birthday parties and BBQs galore. Lots of good weather - sunshine and rain - and flowers blossoming everywhere. 

There are lots of sad things going on, like Kate's immunizations (she was NOT happy with me today), some runny noses and throwing up, saying goodbye to friends and doing way too many things for the last time.

There are lots of scary things going on too. Like scouring the internet for homes for sale in the mid west, securing a packing/loading date with our mover (and realizing it's in about three weeks), and purchasing one-way airline tickets for this little family of mine. 

Every time I open my email it's something about graduation or moving or saying goodbye. Every time I walk into Leah's school, I'm nearly attacked by faculty, students and administration who have just found out that our family will be moving before the school year ends. Every time I look at my to do list, I'm paralyzed with all that I should do - including finding new therapists and teachers and pediatricians and neurologists and schools. 

I wonder how Leah will be accepted in Iowa and if we'll find aides and teachers who are as good with her as they have been here. I wonder how I'm ever going to unpack and keep Kate alive at the same time. I wonder how I'm ever going to make new friends when I don't know a soul out there. 

I'm really excited for our new adventure, but I'm also really nervous. And scared. And sad. There's just so much to do. And I'm a little afraid to do any of it. 

I was hoping that writing some of it down would make it a little better. It did. And it didn't. At least I get to check "blog" off my to-do list for today. That should postpone some hyperventilating until tomorrow.

5 comments:

Laura said...

I know how you feel. Every time we pick up and move, I cry a little harder. Leaving school was probably THE hardest we had to do! We had made such good friendships and it was home to us. I still can't believe it has been two years since that day! Two years and FOUR moves later. :-)

All I know is that I am extremely and totally grateful for the church. You will find a place to live and you will already be assigned to a ward. That ward will love you and there will be someone there who you will connect with and become friends with and who also needs you. Will it be hard? Probably. Give it time and sooner than later it will feel like home.

Good luck saying all of your goodbyes - I remember how hard and overwhelming it was! And you are always more than welcome to drop little Kate off at our house in Chicago to unpack ... just sayin'. :-)

Shannon said...

maren, you will do fabulously in your new place. They will LOVE you guys, just like we love you in CA, and just like they love you in NH. I absolutely understand the hyperventilating, though. You will find all of the great people to take care of your family, because great people attract other great people. Change is painful and crazy overwhelming, even when it's good change. It helps me to remember that things have always worked out in the past; HF has always taken care of me before, so His track record is pretty good ;). Good luck these next few weeks. Enjoy every second.

Tiffany Toronto said...

Oh my goodness, I have the same feelings. Although, "find out where we are actually moving to" is at the top of my list and I start hyperventilating EVERY time I look at it. Way too many goodbyes, last times, grad stuff going on. I am constantly feeling like I am going to start cheering or simply sit down and sob in an ugly cry fashion. At least you guys will all be gone when I have to speak in church so I won't be threatened with tears as I look out at the audience :)

Marcy said...

I feel like I'm trying to stave off mini panic attacks just seeing all the stuff about T'13s moving, and anticipating it being our turn next year...

We've moved so many times over the past several years, and it's always so exciting and so nerve-wracking and SCARY. I know this is easier said than done, but try to tackle the things you have control over and have faith that the rest will work out. That this will be yet another great adventure, where you will meet more amazing people and make more great friends and have many more fascinating experiences. BEST OF LUCK! And let us know if we can help with anything on this side of the move.

Erica said...

if anyone I know can do all that without letting anyone see them sweat (and with a great outfit and cute hair) it's YOU my friend! Glad you will be a tiny bit closer to Ca....everyone in Iowa is so so lucky to have the Laytons!