Sunday, December 26, 2010

leah's christmas present

i know i'm irrational. you don't have to tell me. but, there are some dreams i guess i'm just not willing to let go. and leah's christmas present this year was one of them. 

rewind 26 years. i was three and i had just been gifted the best. present. ever. yellow, red and blue plastic, adjustable, fisher price roller skates. once i inserted my feet, i don't think i took them off for weeks. maybe months. gliding aroudn in those beauties is actually one of my very first memories - and it's pretty vivid. for years, i've known that if i had a daughter, she would get similar roller skaes for her own third birthday.

fast forward for february 2010 - leah's third birthday. i thought about it. yup - it definitely crossed my mind on multiple occasions, but we had recently received {ever so reluctantly} leah's diagnosis and i was heart broken. roller skating carefree around the house was something my three year old daughter would never do. the idea of roller skates were flushed down the toilet with a bushelful of other dreams.

a month or two later, i snapped out of it. sure, leah would never skate around by herself. but that didn't mean i couldn't help her experience the joy i felt. she'd just experience it in a different way. i decided she could have roller skates for christmas. 

fast forward to august 2010. we were in utah on vacation with ryan's friends and leah was at grandma and grandpa layton's house. they emailed us each night with an update on leah's daily activities and included pictures of what they had done. running through sprinklers, playing at the park, swimming in the backyard, wearing new princess jammies. one night we read that they bought leah rollerskates - and attacked a picture of the excitement.

i burst into tears. 


ryan got a look on his face as if to say, "why is my wife crazy?" and he had every right to do so. i blubbered through my explanation beginning with my own roller skates, including my disappointment on leah's third birthday and my resolve to get her skates that upcoming december. after a lot of talking, we decided we'd ask his parents if we could have those skates be just for grandma and grandpa's house so i could get leah her own pair for christmas. 

i know they thought it was irrational. ryan thought i was being ridiculous. and, sentiment aside, i could see that too. i felt awful. but, the sentiment and the years of dreams couldn't be laid aside. not this time. 

to make sure it was something leah wanted as well, we looked at lots of skates online. her face lit up when we talked about them. we looked at gray skates, red skates, white skates, blue skates. but none got a grin so big as did the hot pink ones. 

when i asked if she wanted santa to bring her roller skates her silent answer was undeniable. it was written all over her face. and so, december 2010, my little three year old got her first pair of skates. 

and she was even nice enough to share. 

sure, she needs my complete assistance. she always will. but i can tell she enjoys it. and it makes me so happy to see her experiencing something so completely normal. 

irrational? maybe. but definitely a dream come true.

6 comments:

chloe said...

Well, maybe it was a little irrational...but no more so than the fact that this post made me cry. Leah is such a doll...and those skate are awesome.

Ann Marie said...

Leah will rock those skates! I'm sure she will love to roll around the house, even if she needs some help to do it.

Karen Hauley said...

I still have my skate key from the 1950's. I think your dream has roots even deeper than you know. What a sweet and tender gift this Christmas.

dani said...

Every little girl needs roller skates. So cute, Maren!

Colleen said...

I am so happy for you both! I had hoped to throw Claire a birthday party at the roller rink and chickened out and kept the shindig at home. Maybe next year we can do it and Leah will come show off her moves :-) and on the whole irrational thing, I would like to share that I think being irrational is a good thing, a very good thing.

Michelle said...

I love that you held on to your dream of your little girl enjoying roller skates. I think you are a fabulous mother and Leah is going to rock those roller skates!